he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love you. Go after that dick
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
