That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
