isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
