I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
