sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
