Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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