she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
