You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
