The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
