I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
