Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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