Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
