they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
