i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
