If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
