We named our party play list daddy issues
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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