How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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