Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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