I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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