She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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