belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
