I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
