He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
