Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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