I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
