apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
