Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
