Dude my mom stole all your condoms
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
