god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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