"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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