They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
