I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
