Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My pussy is not your playground.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
