Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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