Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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