Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize