Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think my fart just growled at me.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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