After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
