haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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