farters have to be the big spoon...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
