I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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