I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
