she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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