so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
