Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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