I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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