Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
