bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
