Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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