I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
